We spend our lives being advised to ignore, to “let it go”, as in the case of people who bore us, unrequited passions, apparently superficial sadness. In these and other various contexts, we are told to forget, to ignore and to move on. However, how bearable is it to accumulate so much ? Where does all this go?
I keep thinking about those television programs that deal with accumulators, whose homes become heaped deposits of uselessness and that occupy all possible spaces, causing damage to the health and life of the owner of the rubble and those who love him.
The rubble obstructs, adorns, suffocates, immobilizes and holds the person to what does not add anything, to what he seeks without even knowing the reason. In the same way, when we try to pass over the setbacks passively, without expressing any reaction whatsoever, we become accumulators of anxieties, which, overwhelmed, obstruct our well-being and the personal resolution of our life as a whole.
Thus, we walk with pending issues that hurt us little by little, imperceptibly, but in an uninterrupted, latent and harmful way to our well-being.
To live with sentimental pending is to live in half, with a weight that accumulates and one day it has to slip away in some way, since our intimates cannot embrace so much negativity in their sensory limits.
Hence the somatization, the depressions, the outbursts of anger and everything else, inevitable consequences that only hurt ourselves and those who love us, precisely who has nothing to do with it, most of the time.
However, worrying too much about the facts, about what has already happened or may happen to happen, is also bad, as well as being irritated and raging against everything and everyone, without saying anything, saying what one thinks, without paying attention to the feelings of others.
Because it is one thing to be sincere, it is another to be aggressive and inelegant – and we often confuse all of this, hurting, in the end, less those who are attacked than ourselves.
I have with me that those people who show only a “blasé” air in the face of any situation and towards anyone end up becoming very boring, hollow and free from any emotion, at least externally. And the greatest danger in being too indifferent is the trap that we set ourselves up by relegating everything to the background, including the people who are most dear to us – husband, wife, children, brothers, friends -, since that way, we can be condemning to the distancing without return of who we need most, fleeing the essential encounters of life in common.
In addition, the crucial point that disables us to sincere and uplifting interactions in our journey comes to be dishonesty, pretending, when we adopt postures that completely escape what is within us.
We deceive ourselves, sometimes to avoid strife and indisposition with each other. However, we must understand that conflicts are often essential and not necessarily useless, as we need to trim the edges that hamper our relationships, whether with the partner, with the child, with the friend, with the co-worker, with the boss. We left more people, more human and more real from these clashes.
Our days, after all, are filled with these relationships and, if they are hindered in any way, we will have our journey adulterated in its truths, as we will be giving up precious opportunities for personal improvement, growth and discovery.
To hide our feelings, then, implies refusing to face and to overcome what prevents us from at least trying to seek happiness.
Living is an art, a route interspersed with shortcuts and traps, achievements and frustrations, which should make us prone to becoming increasingly stronger and confident, but it is not always so. We are often frightened and cowed during this walk, emotionally paralyzed, as if cornered in a dead end. In those moments, who will save us, offering comfort, comfort and motivation, will be the people with whom we relate in a true, shared way, with whom we build an interaction of trust and mutual understanding, that is, who stayed with us after our miseries and virtues have rawly exposed and accepted, without pretense and without annulment.
The true joy of living is found in the simplicity of daily acts, in the details and in the little things that are around us … Unfortunately we are always so busy, that we do not realize the beauty and joy that these details can provide us.
Think about it and have a great day!