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Keep your emotions to yourself or expose your emotions to the world? That is the question. The fact is that, increasingly, science is concerned with people’s behavioral habits, their feelings and the ways we face our everyday situations. So much so that, based on this, various techniques, studies, analysis, and even self-help books are sought and consulted in order to seek practical and functional solutions in life. However, what is the best way for us to understand such genuine feelings? Find it out!

Logically, each case is different, each person is a person, with their own peculiarities, personalities and different ways of dealing with feelings. However, in general, all emotions start from an existential will: well-being.

Is holding back emotions bad?

Holding emotions means not acknowledging them and therefore not handling them and possibly expressing them inappropriately. Since emotions help us evaluate alternatives, providing motivation to change or do something, not acknowledging them can lead to dysfunctional behaviors and inappropriate emotional expressions (such as angry outbursts or a high level of anxiety). In this way, guarding emotions would harm our personal functioning as well as our relationships. Furthermore, if emotions reveal our needs to us, by keeping them, we would have difficulty expressing and being able to meet them. For example: a person who is feeling sad, in general, has the need for care, however, if that person does not properly identify this emotion, they can express it as anger, for example, and instead of approaching another person , push her away, without being able to meet her need for care.

What’s the best way to expose emotions?

After identifying our emotional state, we need to accept the presence of certain emotions. After this process, we can communicate this state to others and adequately express our need. The best way would be an assertive expression of them, through verbal behavior or not. Assertive behavior means we communicate our wants and needs in a way that the other understands them. Likewise, since emotions provide us with motivation to do something or change, we can use that motivation to tailor our behaviors to our goals.

How to maintain balance and control emotions?

It is better to talk about regulation of emotions rather than control. In this sense, it is critical to recognize how we deal with our emotions. It is very common for people to want to avoid some emotions or even feel shame or guilt for their emotional state. Understanding the function of each emotion and accepting its presence is a fundamental posture to be able to handle them. Emotion regulation itself are coping strategies to confront the unwanted intensity of your emotions, keeping them at a manageable level so you can deal with them. This does not mean “thinking positive”, but rather evaluating situations more completely, based on the greatest possible amount of evidence so that the emotional response is consistent with the event. Another way to regulate emotions is emotional suppression. After the emotional response has already taken place, the outward signs of the emotions are inhibited so that what you are feeling is not freely expressed. This can be done through meditation, relaxation, breathing, etc. techniques.

However, if it is very difficult for someone to accept and find alternative ways to manage their emotions, it is important to seek help from a psychologist.

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